Power, Agency, and the Paradox of Liberty: A Christlike Response to Domestic Violence

Liberty is one of the most precious gifts of God. From Israel’s deliverance from Egypt, to Christ proclaiming freedom to the oppressed, the biblical story is one of God acting to release His people from bondage. Yet as Brother Martyn Lawrence reminds us in his thoughtful talk, The Paradox of Liberty, freedom always contains a paradox: liberty can be used for love and service—or misused for domination and oppression.

Domestic violence is one of the clearest and most destructive misuses of liberty. It is the wielding of power not for the flourishing of another but for control, coercion, and fear. In Christadelphian ecclesias and families, where liberty in Christ should bring healing, in some cases power is twisted into control, and freedom is denied to those who most need it.

This article is a reflection on the themes of power and agency in domestic violence, explores how misuse of power in ecclesias compounds the harm, and draws connections with Brother Lawrence’s reflections on liberty. It aims to help us hear, believe, and act for survivors in our community. We encourage you to listen to the full podcast on Good Christadelphian Talks.

The Nature of Domestic Violence: Power and Control

Domestic violence is not primarily about anger, stress, or marital conflict. It is about power and control. As described in Breaking the Cycle, abusers use patterns of intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, economic control, minimisation, and coercion to dominate their spouse. The “Power and Control Wheel,” widely used by professionals, and developed by studies of numerous cases demonstrates that abuse is systematic, not incidental.

This means that domestic violence is not a “marriage problem.” It is not the result of two people failing to compromise. It is one person overriding the agency of another. In scriptural terms, it is a betrayal of covenant, a desecration of marriage as a “joint venture” to be heirs together of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7).

The consequence is profound: a survivor feels imprisoned, isolated, diminished, and unable to act freely. Their God-given agency is eroded, replaced with fear and coercion. In this sense, domestic violence is anti-gospel—it is the opposite of the freedom Christ came to bring.

Liberty Misused: The Paradox in Practice

Brother Martyn Lawrence explores how liberty is paradoxical: true freedom is not license to do as we please, but the ability to serve in love. Paul’s words echo this:

“You were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Gal. 5:13)

When a husband misuses his role of headship to dominate, he embodies the fleshly misuse of liberty. He twists freedom into entitlement. Instead of laying down his life for his wife as Christ loved the ecclesia (Eph. 5:25), he uses his power to enslave her.

Here the paradox sharpens: the liberty Christ gives, which should empower both husband and wife to serve each other in love, is corrupted into a tool of bondage. The result is not freedom but captivity—the very thing Christ came to abolish.

Agency and Image-Bearing

Agency is at the heart of being human. We are created in God’s image to make meaningful choices, to steward creation, to love and be loved. Domestic violence robs survivors of that agency. Decisions are belittled, movements are controlled, friendships are restricted, and faith itself can be manipulated.

Scripture shows God fiercely protecting agency. He does not coerce obedience but calls for willing hearts (Deut. 30:19). Christ invited disciples to follow; he never forced. Abuse, by contrast, strips agency away. Survivors describe it as soul-destroying, confidence-shattering, and imprisoning.

For ecclesias, recognising this is critical. When leaders pressure survivors to forgive prematurely, to reconcile quickly, or to remain silent “for the good of the meeting”, or “for the sake of the children”, they repeat the abuser’s sin. They once again override agency. What is needed instead is support that restores choice, safety, and dignity.

Misuse of Power in the Ecclesia

Sadly, ecclesial responses sometimes mirrored the dynamics of abuse:

• Minimisation: Elders reframe abuse as “marriage problems” or “stress.”

• Pressure to reconcile: Survivors are told to return to dangerous relationships, echoing the abuser’s cycle of “buy-back” and false repentance.

• Misapplication of Scripture: Passages about submission are twisted to demand endurance of violence, while the clear command to “do no violence” (Luke 3:14) is ignored.

• Silencing through shame: Survivors fear gossip, judgment, or even withdrawal from fellowship if they speak.

These misuses of ecclesial power compound the trauma. They mirror the abuser’s tactics: denial, victim-blaming, coercion, and spiritual manipulation. Instead of being a refuge, the ecclesia becomes another site of control.

But Christ calls ecclesias to be strongholds for the oppressed:

“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” (Ps. 9:9)

Anything less is a betrayal of our Lord and of our sisters and brothers who suffer.

Liberty in Christ: A Different Use of Power

What does it mean, then, to live the paradox of liberty faithfully? Brother Lawrence reminds us that freedom in Christ is always oriented toward others. It is the liberty to serve, not to dominate. It is the power of love, not control.

Applied to marriage and ecclesial life, this means:

• Husbands use their strength to nurture, not coerce.

• Ecclesias use authority to protect, not to silence.

• Leaders lay down privilege for the sake of the vulnerable, following Christ’s example (Phil. 2:5–8).

  
  

In practice, this means taking disclosures seriously, believing survivors, and acting to secure their safety. It means challenging abusers to genuine repentance, not superficial remorse. It means refusing to tolerate the covering of violence (Mal. 2:16).

Cultural Change: From Silence to Solidarity

One of the most pressing challenges is cultural. For too long, domestic violence has been hidden in Christadelphian households, excused as private matters, or spiritualised as “suffering for the Kingdom.” Survivors have been left isolated, ashamed, and unsupported.

Breaking the Cycle makes the call for us to change this culture. We must learn to recognise patterns of coercive control, to see beyond “incidents” to the cycle of abuse, and to stand with survivors. This requires education, humility, and courage.

It also requires rejecting myths:

• Abuse is not caused by stress, anger, or alcohol—it is a choice to misuse power.

• Survivors are not to blame for staying—they face overwhelming barriers and threats.

• Submission passages do not require enduring violence—they call for mutual respect in Christ.

  
  

Changing culture means cultivating empathy, breaking silence, and reshaping ecclesial life to reflect the God who “hears the cries of the oppressed” (Exod. 3:7).

Why Listening Matters

The theme of “hearing” is central. Survivors often feel unheard, doubted, or dismissed. Yet Scripture repeatedly calls God’s people to listen:

• “Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.” (Prov. 31:8)

• “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2)

Brother Lawrence’s reflection on liberty urges us to listen deeply, to recognise how freedom can be abused, and to reclaim it for service. Listening is itself an act of restoring agency—it validates the survivor’s voice, reaffirms their reality, and resists the silencing tactics of abuse.

This is why this particular Good Christadelphian Talks podcast episode is so valuable. It invites us to hear, not only about liberty in the abstract, but about the lived reality of how it can be misused—and how it must be reclaimed for love.

Call to Action: Hear, Believe, Act

The mission of HearBelieveAct.org captures the needed response:

1. Hear survivors without minimisation or judgment.

2. Believe their accounts, recognising the patterns of coercive control.

3. Act to protect the vulnerable, challenge abusers, and reshape ecclesial culture.

This is not optional. As James says:

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27)

Domestic violence is affliction. Survivors are often left spiritually if not practically orphaned and widowed by the betrayal of covenant. To practice pure religion is to stand with them, protect them, and embody the liberty of Christ.

Conclusion: True Liberty

The paradox of liberty is resolved in Christ. True freedom is not power over others, but power given up for others. Domestic violence is its antithesis: liberty twisted into oppression. Ecclesias that minimise or excuse abuse perpetuate that misuse of power.

But we are called higher. We are called to embody the liberty of Christ: to serve in love, to protect the oppressed, and to nurture agency and dignity in every disciple.

Brother Martyn Lawrence’s Paradox of Liberty is a timely reminder of this calling. Listening to the full podcast on Good Christadelphian Talks will enrich your understanding of how liberty is meant to be lived, and how crucial it is to confront its misuse.

May we, by God’s grace, hear the cries of survivors, believe their stories, and act to bring true liberty—the liberty of Christ—to all.

Listen to the full talk: [Good Christadelphian Talks Podcast – Martyn Lawrence, The Paradox of Liberty]